Handlebars

I just realized what a pouty little brat I am. All I do is sit on my lazy butt and whine about the things I can't do, the little extra difficulty involved in daily tasks, the annoying but bearable pain my body has to deal with. It was always "why me?" all the time.  

I just had the greatest day with my old high school family: Ryan, Hillary, and Tim (Joe's part of it, too, but he's in India at the moment). These four got me through the best and worse times of high school, and right now, they're seeing me through the hardest time of my life. We went to the Houston Zoo and saw and laughed at all the funny animals, took pictures, and I almost forgot about my scleroderma. Of course I could never forget it's there, but it hardly mattered as I was with people that I knew wouldn't judge me and who loved me before the scleroderma, and who love me now with the scleroderma. I'm no different in their eyes with or without the disease. After the zoo, we got stuck in traffic on the way home, so we listened to Enya and Josh Groban and the traffic flew by. 

We went to BJ's for dinner and Hillary gorged herself in the spinach artichoke dip and felt bad about it afterwards. Tim had a pazookie for the first time and we all fought over the ice cream and cookie because the four of us had to share one little tiny delicious pazookie. Hillary and I shared a giant stuffed baked potato and I don't remember what Ryan got but we were all a little jealous because it looked absolutely amazing. 

After that, we stopped by Redbox and rented Pineapple Express, which we didn't even get to watch because we got way too distracted playing Mario Kart and making music videos. We went to my room and made absolutely crazy music videos to "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap, "He Lives In You" from The Lion King, and "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson, using props like a honey jar, a styrofoam noodle, and a pool table triangle. 

This was the last time the four of us would be together as a group until Spring Break as Tim and Ryan are going back to Baylor and me and Hillary return to SHSU, but that day absolutely made my Christmas Break. It was just a complete day spent with the people I love and trust and value like family. Then I realized just how lucky I am, no matter how often I like to think otherwise. Yes, I'm in a rough point in my life, but God has a plan. I may be in the sucky part of the plan right now, but He's not making me face it alone. I have these guys. I know without a doubt that He sent them to me to help me through this, and He knows what He's doing. They're keeping me alive. They're like my handlebars, keeping me balanced and focused and safe, as I ride through the obstacles God placed to make me stronger.